About to snap

1.

Okay, I didn't really get to sleep in but I managed to get some sleep after work and felt so damn good. Sorry Fad, didn't get to see you for dinner. 2 morning shifts with lack of sleep made me so cranky.

2.

Okay, my patient(s) did not have blue hair, did not have any broken leg and they are females. Anyhows, work has been tiring but meaningful. I enjoy working alone on Saturdays because time flies faster. Next week is last week of CA and I think I will miss the people there <3 A.L is an efficient partner to work with and the nurses there are nice :)

3.

Not that I got to meet him or what but I've been listening to him today on youtube. Still love the husky voice, sexy :D Sometimes, it's not the voice. It's the song and it's the person. I mean, I don't like Taufik Batisah but girls go all weak in the knees when he sang  Everything I do, I do it for you back then. I love Cook's voice in Always Be My Baby and I Don't Want To Miss A Thing (I still like Aerosmith's version).

4.

Someone gave me a kiss before I left work today, which made me go all warm and fuzzy inside :) She's so damn cute and I'll remember it for a long, long time :)

 

Hello, you went hiding for a long long while in my house.
I FOUND YOU TODAY!
 

Sometimes, all you need is little reminder of where you came from, where you are and where you're supposed to be. It's that slight push that is not meant to harm you but for you to take that first step, that helping hand that will haul you up when you stumble along the way and the cheers at the end when you've made it.

No regrets :)

Remember the square in the middle of the classroom block?

Just keep holding on.

Through the years, one quote remained with me till today - change is constant - but I figured that life is not all kind. Changes are there to get you whether you are ready or not, whether you want it or not. Sometimes it tips the balance a little, making you want to press the forward button and travel through time to where it feels comfortable all over again.

The absurdity of matter -
as the days go by, the more I believe what I didn't want to.

I always, always have weird cravings.

One morning, I woke up rather early to travel to school .While waiting for the bus, I decided that I wanted to eat Qiji's Nasi Lemak that morning. I took a bus to Hougang and well, Qiji was closed. Because I was craving, I bought Nasi Lemak from Old Chang Kee. It was cold and didn't taste anything like Qiji's Nasi Lemak. Ate a little and threw it away. When I was walking to the dustbin, Qiji opened its doors to the public but it was time for me to go! HRMP.

So, that shall remain on my list until I have the time to go and eat it. I am also craving for Tong Seng's laksa, Kampong Glam's Mee Rebus and Roti Kirai with Chicken Curry, Zamzam's chicken murtabak, Popeye's buttermilk biscuit/mash potato/CHICKEN, Cahaya's ipoh hor fun, Harboufront Banquet's ban mian, Simpang's seafood marinara and thai beef fried rice... the list never ends. My eating buddy is currently sick with fever and I am busy anyway.

GET WELL SOON. I WANT TO GET MY FIX OF BASKIN ROBBIN'S FROM JB BEFORE YOUR NEW SEMESTER STARTS! PISTACHIO ALMOND HERE I COME!

Okay, I haven't gone to sleep for 2 days already and I really ought to sleep. But I don't feel sleepy. Hence this redundant entry.

Do you have a list of "comfort songs" I call it, songs you listen to during specific times of the month? Okay. Maybe I should direct that question specifically to ladies only. I listen to these comfort songs over and over again whenever I am feeling blue. Will never get sick of it (:

My ultimate favourite - Always by Bon Jovi. Sexy singer, sexy voice, love the lyrics. All time favourite through the years (: Love the part from 1:58 onwards!

I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and words don't rhyme

Okay after this entry I am done being an emo 'teenage fan girl'!

( Nine other comfort songs (:  )

It has always been and remained a fantasy. When I was growing up, I had wished to have a boyfriend who plays a kind of instrument, prolly guitar or piano so that I'll be able to ask someone to play an instrument while I sing. And then I decided that that was too difficult, so I told myself one fine day I will learn how to play it on my own. Of course, that idea never materialized but I can always keep hoping that it'll come true, right? My Immortal by Evanescence would be the first song I want to play on my own. But ever since the throat infection, I lost the upper range and my voice is more husky than ever now. I wonder why, have yet to find out why.

One of the things listed on my 100 things to do.

Last entry of the day, again, I'm being random.
Random people in this picture.
At a random moment.
At a random place.
At a random time.

We were everywhere.
 

Second public entry of the day - it must a be a record for me. Recently, life's been nothing but randomness. The things I do, the words I say, the people I meet. Today was the same too. This entry is going to be on random things. Even the picture above, it's random, taken long ago.

I've been dying to read a novel from Jodi Picoult (Handle with Care) or Paulo Coelho (The Winner Stands Alone) but I haven't got any time to travel down to a book store and buy it. Or maybe once I get to a book store, I will decide not to waste my money although I think a good read is never a waste of money. Don't you think life itself makes you veryself-centered? "Survival of the fittest" I have an issue with Brave New World and that's why I have yet to finish that book. Sometimes, it's just too painful and disturbing to read.

Deep thoughts surfaced today and I haven't been in touch with them for quite a while. It tipped the balance of my emotions a little but I got back up pretty fast and okay. While walking home from the bus stop today I decided to slow down a little despite my eyes attempting to shut voluntarily. I decided to breathe slower, walk slower, think slower, do everything slower. I walked to the lift, took a step back and walked to the vending machine. Dropped a dollar into the rusty slot and got myself a can of soya bean. I told myself to drink slower. That's just life isn't it  - sometimes you're going so fast that you don't realise it and sometimes, you don't even realise where you are going.

Don't you wonder about your existence?

Sometimes, I try hard to reconcile the good and the bad, but sometimes I simply can't.

Do you remember that feeling, that realization of a possibility?

I'm trying because I want to. 

(:



 

Sometimes, the most fragile things are the ones you love most.

Turning 20 - A W E S O M E


06 May 2009 - Combined mini birthday celebration for May babies in P06! Freaking awesome brownies, courtesy of Miss Fiza's sister :)


17 May 2009 - I met these darlings, my primary school girlfriends, for an ice skating date followed by dinner. I was happily yakking and yakking, telling them stories, not realising why they were so quiet with their hands on paper bags! Amalina bought a small cake for each of us and I received a photo album with a picture of us, bangles and handwritten poems in side. Remember things like, Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a friend, my friend is you! and many others! I was honestly very touched, thank you girls for the effort (:


22 May 2009 - I don't have photos of this day. I had a date with these girls for dinner @ Orchard. I met Deena, walked towards Taka and found Fadilah sitting down with all kinds of things (really, all kinds) to surprise me. I didn't expect it at all because I was just too excited to meet them because we have been busy and did not have time to catch up. I was touched by this too because Fadilah started on her crazy attachment work and Deena's been teaching - time's really precious. So thank you to you two, for taking the time despite the crazy, crazy schedule.


29 May 2009 - My newfound friends in Ngee Ann Polytechnic. One week before this day, my friends kept reminding me to come to school on 29 May 2009 for some 'quiz' (I have a habit of waking up late on Friday mornings because I'm too tired or I will fall ill and take MC or... any other excuses). I went to sleep the previous night telling myself I will not miss school but I woke up late! I only made it to school at 11pm for our Foundations Of Nursing lecture conducted by Mdm Aw (the lady hugging me). For some reason, she was rushing through the lecture (well, I felt that way) and I was wondering how come we didn't have a break after 1hour. When she was done with the lecture, she switched off the lights, telling us we would be watching a video. That was when Suhana and Shirah came in with a birthday cake! They had disappeared from lecture, giving me the idea they went for toilet break. I was stoned and then shocked and then I screamed. Thank you all of you who were involved in this (haha) and for the La Senza PJ and teddy bear from Mdm Aw :D


29/30 May 2009 - I spent the night before my birthday Zouk with the usuals and other people. Intention was just to chill and have fun. I don't normally take pictures in club, the picture above was taken on another day. Thank you RT for coming along just because I used my 'trump card' by saying Saturday's my birthday haha! And to those of you who treated me drinks :)



30 May 2009 - I don't have photos of this day but this picture sums up the people involved. Fareez brought me out to Mind Cafe @ Boat Quay. I was looking through the lunch menu while he went to select some board games. When I turned to my right, I saw Deena and Sufi at the entrance and my initial reaction was, 'OMG FAREEZ, LOOK THEY ARE HERE! WE CAN PLAY GAMES TOGETHER!' and it took me 5 seconds later to realise why they were there. We had Nutella cake courtesy of Deena and Sufi, played games for close to 4hours before saying our goodbyes. Fareez and I had our dinner at Breeks before setting off to a Jazz cafe @ Haji Lane. Awesome shit from Wicked Aura Battucada. I received a thoughtful gift (a thumbdrive, since I lost mine) and a handmade photoalbum from Fareez.

 

06 June 2009 - A picnic planned by Farhana at Hort Park. Freaking hot weather, updates and gossips, food, Monopoly, lots of photos. Again, I don't know where the birthday cake came from but yes, I was surprised. I thought it was a catch up session and nothing else. Love the cake and I think I'll just keep buying that same mango cake whenever I have the craving. Ice-cream after Hort Park and more gossips! Thank you Farhana for cooking and the cake, Nad and Idz for the time! :)

Thanks for all the birthday wishes too. To those who wished me through sms, I'm so sorry that I had to ask for your name because I lost my phone twice in May and did not have all my old contacts.

I'll either post pictures randomly on my journal or on Facebook. I did this entry to distract myself from revision for abit, time to go back to the books! Been years since I took exams man.

Till the next time!

I used to think that I was a procrastinator. My love for running away manifests in several ways - unfortunately even when it comes to work and school. No, wait, I shouldn't be using the word unfortunately. It may be unfortunate for others but not for myself.

You know how teachers brainwash you by saying that you should never do last minute work, you should be a good and conscientious student? For as long as I remember, I've heard the same thing again and again ever since I was young. So I tried. I tried so damn hard to do my work early, to start early, to do everything early so that I will not have to burn midnight oil.

Well, we all know that nothing is one size fits all. Yet we still try to fit in, just because we were told to. The effect of being told the same thing again and again eventually landed me in eternal frustration because I could never do it. It took me all these years to realise that I was just not born to work that way.

Let's see. People say you're a good student when you start on your assignment early so that you don't have to rush and produce crap work. People say you have to start revision early so that you don't have to cram everything into your brain in a short period of time. Yet when I try to start my work early, no ideas come to me. When I try to study early, I don't absorb anything. Well, because it is my nature to run away from problems, from anything until lack of time induces urgency in me. But because I've been told all my life that a 'good student' doesn't do last minute work, I thought I was not normal, I thought I was a severe procrastinator.

So now, after almost 20 years of being alive, I realise that it is okay to do last minute work if it works for you, it is okay to do last minute revision if it works for you. It only becomes a problem if it creates trouble. And I am sorry if it troubles you, that I thrive and produce results under stress. Just to add a pinch of bitchiness, I still produce better work which was done 15minutes before the deadline than yours which was done 15 days before deadline.

I'm just trying to say - screw conformity.

10 years went by and yet I still feel like I'm 10.

I wish you were here to see the person I've become today.

I miss you Dad.